Decent Proposal

By Antonio Malara

In the 1993 film “Indecent Proposal” by Adrian Lyne, the protagonist played by Robert Redford makes a so-called “indecent” proposal to a woman's husband. In the proposal there is a psychological game in which he claims that everything has a price, even sex and where there is someone who needs money, he will certainly be willing to sell even his woman's body. I don't know if the indecency refers to the money or the type of proposal but as far as I'm concerned I see it as an indecency only towards money. Although the ninth commandment says not to desire other people's women, I believe that both for money and for "other people's" women one obeys a non-natural convention that has no genetic logic. Our bodies are designed to want three things: food, sleep and sex. The rest are conventions (marriage) and despotism (money that is used to control the masses) but our instinct does not recognize these things or misinterprets them as in the case of money. We cannot rationally explain why we like or are attracted to a person and when this or that person has a partner, we stop only as a matter of respect but most of the time the attraction is always mutual even when a person already has a partner. In other words, monogamy is an unnatural imposition that only leads to frustration or partial satisfaction with your partner. All this because the so-called betrayal is not accepted as a natural rule. I can also recognize marriage as a form of family but the imposition of monogamy is brutal. Today things have changed a bit and since we are all public figures in the spotlight, we have our fans who admire us. My concept is that even if people are married or have partners, when they are attracted to someone else (in both cases) they should proceed with satisfying this need commonly called betrayal. So in my opinion, wanting someone else's woman (she may be attracted to me or not) is to be considered absolutely decent!
With this premise I don't want to be Schopenhauer by explaining why I'm right but attraction simply exists and doesn't follow the logic of marriage or monogamy, we just need to be more sincere and confess it. This is because in modern connections you can still tell if a married woman is attracted to someone else. In my post “2022 Escape from Social Network” I explained how many of the social platforms have turned into just virtual places to flirt. This happens with both normal and famous people. One way or another we end up exposing ourselves physically and the attraction arises. I explained how in general I now prefer a social network that inspires me from a creative point of view while many of them have only led me to desire some of my female followers. I believe that in many cases it was mutual and in fact I was physically there with some of them. Luckily by forcing myself to only use platforms that inspire me in the arts I prefer, I am slowly abandoning the flirting game on social media that predisposes to this. However, as a tribute, I had the idea of ​​talking about all those people with whom I achieved nothing. Initially I thought it was something transgressive and instead it is a real praise, clearly for me mentioning to the extent of wanting married women does not represent a lack of respect as I explained previously.
Before getting to the point, however, I want to talk about the concept of monogamy and why I believe that in the end women, in the game of virtual flirting, want the same thing as men, only they don't confess it. Probably ordinary people have not achieved the freedom that I have achieved and therefore remain stuck in the "logic" of modern society of marriage and monogamy. In my post "The Anticapitalist" I elaborated on this concept and how the capitalist system influences and conditions not only society but above all the relationships between men and women. This is to say that my mind is independent, without preconceptions and set patterns. For this reason I feel like the normal one compared to a person who convinces himself that he loves another. Regarding the latent seduction by women on social media, however, it is something that represents the rule rather than the exception. Many women do nothing to be discreet, on the contrary they use sexy outfits while appearing innocent. For example, simple leggings are something sexy especially if the woman has a feminine figure with hips in the right proportion. This and many other types of clothing are not innocent, they are subliminal messages to gain consensus and increase self-esteem. Even certain looks, smiles and poses; in reality they aim for consensus but at the same time they make people who love the woman want it. Over the years I have taken thousands of screenshots that can explain what I'm saying much better. I myself published lots of photos in my underwear with my member clearly visible under my underwear; some women appreciated it and told me so, the others just thought it and didn't have the personality to say it. Because knowing them, if they didn't like it they would have challenged me. Those photos of mine were all tests I did, I wanted to see if anyone was annoyed in the end. I believe it was quite the opposite, they liked it but their status as married or engaged women never pushed them to say what they really thought.
In all of this, the conventional profile that emerges from me is that of a polygamous "macho" but personally I feel normal or at least more honest compared to those males who think what I say but don't confess it or in any case who don't have the clue to elaborate a concept like mine. I feel more like a modern James Bond but the classic one played by Sean Connery where in each film he was with at least three different women. The pleasure in seducing and the art of perpetuating it. Today, unfortunately, this character too has been ruined by the false respectability that imposes a sad seducer full of internal conflicts, a soul in pain who wants to fall in love with a woman rather than a misogynist "on her Majesty’s secret service".
At this point all I have to do is mention and pay homage to all those followers with whom I have only flirted virtually in recent years. A little vulgarly I’m forced to divide them into categories using a rates but only to avoid confusion and not out of disrespect. I will list them using my liking starting from the last in the ranking up to the first and I also briefly describe them using their nicknames or pseudo initials with which they identify themselves. In the ranking you will notice how there is an anomaly or a contradiction regarding the concept of marriage. I gave rate A and classified as "to marry" the girls who are my absolute favorites. For me this definition of marriage represents the maximum definition for expressing my appreciation towards a person. Clearly I don't conceive of it as a traditional marriage but as a maximum prize or installment. When I say that I would marry one of those girls I mean something more intimate and private, in other words if there are 5 girls to marry on the list, if I had the financial availability and their wishes, I would keep them all in the same villa at the same time, a sort of of modern harem.
The rate principle is divided as follows:

A: To marry
B: To be engaged but without certainty of marriage
C: Lover
D: ONS - One night stand 

N. 25 - R.B.
She is an Italian brunette girl known and met many years ago. Her particularity is her height and she has always intrigued me because of this. She is 185 cm tall and at that time I had never been with a person of that height so I was so curious. At the time she had a partner but I think she would have had no problem cheating on him. I’m convinced that during our only meeting she didn't like me physically, however it was fate in the form of the tenth second that it didn't throw us into each other's arms (and not just them). When I go out with a girl for the first time, there is an “X” moment in which I step out of formality and turn into the lover, normally touching the other person in more intimate parts and kissing them at the same time. It has always worked and when moment “X” arrived with R., there was a micro second of hesitation by me. Just when I was going to extend my hand I stopped for a moment I don't know why, immediately after she looked at me saying that it was getting late and then she got up. The second attempt was nipped in the bud, but we're talking about tenths of a second. It's a shame because that episode could have turned everything into something very passionate. My rate now as then is D.

N. 24 - E.G.
She is a divorced Ukrainian woman of about 35 years old with three teenage kids, I discovered her by chance through a tag on Instagram. She is blonde with blue eyes, she has the distinction of having a simply perfect face. In fact, I have never seen such beautiful and harmonious lines, proportions and features, she also has a beautiful physique despite her pregnancies. I believe she is also a singer and although she laughs often, she gives me the impression of a person with a sad soul or in any case she carries with her a culture like that. This aspect combined with the fact that she already has kid, has never made me think of serious things but rather of a passing lover. In fact, this was what I had in mind during my last trip to Germany where she lives now. At my invitation to meet, she cleverly declined, certainly understanding my intentions. It's a shame because she missed out on a once-in-a-lifetime experience. My rate is D.

N. 23 - J.
She’s a twenty-year-old girl from the Czech Republic, she does not have an official profile on X but uses one where no one can recognize her. For this reason I can only describe her appearance from a short video that she sent me: a blonde girl with regular shapes and a smooth, simple face. I immediately understood that she was one of those who on X want to be explicit on all topics but without showing off and I immediately managed to capture her attention. She is a girl with a very advanced sexuality and she also turned out to be very intelligent and with a complex personality. She was a very difficult person to manage but at the same time she motivated me. She was the kind of person with whom, by comparing yourself, she makes you understand aspects of yourself in an indirect way. We clearly ended up having sex texting twice even though it's something I don't like. We had planned to meet but she suddenly disappeared without giving any reason. My rate is C.

N. 22 - I.K.
She’s a Russian girl who lives in Indonesia, bleached blonde, short in stature, has a shapely butt with perfect proportions. She likes to tease from time to time showing the best side of her but she always remains reserved and she personally has never given me anything. However, I think she is very passionate and also loves playing with photos. Some time ago, someone made a fake account for her, implying that explicit photos of her could be found there. I understood immediately and reported that account to her. However, when these things happen it is because someone who was very close and then disappointed, probably possessing nude material, tried to take revenge in an ignoble way. My rate for her is D.

N. 21 - R.G.
She’s a Chinese girl living in Japan, met on a dating app when I visited Japan and then brought to a social network. I like her basically because she likes me (or used to like me), however she has a very singular face, with an even thinner eye cut than usual that looks like an alien. She’s physically small but she is fine, simple lines not vulgar or busty. Over time the flirting has waned but she is a girl who always stimulates me. My rate is C only because if I were to meet her in a far away place it would be a shame to do it only once.

N. 20 - E.L.
She’s an American woman about 47 years old, a scientist in the space field. A blonde woman with blue eyes but not a perfect or sexy person. A simple wife and mother with common aesthetic flaws, a person who doesn't particularly care because it's not her purpose to seduce others. When I followed NASA and her jokes, she was the one whose posts I read with great interest, she opened my eyes to the doubts of space science. Analyzing some images, she saw some details in a photo where I don't remember which detail could not have been present on the moon Ceres. She did it professionally but from there I had the confirmation of my suspicions on the validity of the model in which they make us believe we live. In a certain sense she led me to study this type of science critically and now I have ideas that make much more sense than the fake photos and theories that this space agency wants us to believe. The charm of this woman is therefore given by her intelligence, simplicity and honesty. The rate is C maybe the lover of a couple of weeks while we study some unconventional theory together in a remote place.

N. 19 - N.L.F.
She’s a Slovenian girl under forty, a body with the right curves and breasts that from the photos I have seen seem perfect. She has two very beautiful and expressive blue eyes but a character that I initially misunderstood. When we started exchanging mentions on X she gave me the idea of ​​a strong and confident girl however I discovered that she’s the opposite. N. is very empathetic to the point of feeling bad which leads her to have difficulty even communicating on social media. I don't know if this happened shortly after I started interacting with her but I have to say that it was very complex and therefore a failure to try to have a better connection. In fact this person is the typical girl next door except that she is also sexy as well as beautiful. I really wanted to create something more with her but it was impossible because her empathy hindered any type of communication. The rate is B.

N. 18 - L.M.N.
She’s a married woman in her 60s, an American painter who lives surrounded by nature. Blonde and blue eyed with a slim teenage body, she has incredible charm. She represents a balance between pure beauty, artistic abilities and a seductive physique for her age. I have paid her many compliments on her social networks and she has always appreciated it, certainly as an artist and mature woman she will have understood my intentions but personally I have never told her anything more intimate or made direct proposals. Her age and her professionalism did not lead me to push myself further. Probably if I had any ability in drawing I would have attended one of her workshops and there I would have behaved in a very direct way. I believe she is a faithful person but this is what makes her even more beautiful and sexy. The rate is C maybe as a lover of a week during a workshop.

N. 17 - A.
She’s a Russian girl, former rhythmic gymnast athlete and now coach. She is tall and has a super toned body. Brown hair with green eyes and a sweet face. The thing that has always excited me about her is the split that she can do with her legs, simply perfect. Every time I see photos with the leg perpendicular to the body I go crazy. I was honest with her straight away because I had good intentions, however we never found ourselves in the right place at the right time. She coached in Italy but not in my city and I managed to see her twice during national competitions. I think that now she is back in her country and I no longer follow her like I used to. Initially she would have been a B but now I would only see her as a lover so my rate is C.

N. 16 - A.L. 
She’s a Brazilian girl who I knew on social media many years ago and with whom I had started a long-distance relationship. A breathtaking, super toned and sporty body that has always driven me crazy even though she has small breasts. From what I have seen she is a good person, faithful, sincere and certainly very passionate and joyful like all Brazilians. We came very close to seeing each other but then surely some other male got in the way. I love sincerity and I don't understand why girls have a hard time admitting things like that. I give her C rate, it would be nice to have her as her lover and light the fire from time to time while traveling around Brazil.

N. 15 - S.L. 
She’s a woman of about 40 years old. White skin, blue eyes and black hair, she currently has a body with the right curves. The only thing I don't like about her is her hair, too thin, prone to frizz and without volume. Very reserved as a person on social media, she has a personal way of showing herself in a sexy but stylish way. She is very passionate about lingerie, she always posts videos or photos where she shows off her very beautiful and sexy legs. There was a moment in which he had a crisis and used "X" to vent in a rather hysterical way, that period was the only moment in which he responded to me in private but otherwise no type of seduction has ever worked with her. It must be said that I never tried too hard both because I didn't like that temporary instability and because I think she has a comfort zone that is difficult to penetrate. I give her C because even though she apparently seems like a quiet girl, in my opinion she is a demanding and very hot lover, one of those insatiable women who want to do it every day.

N. 14 - C.
She's a Dutch girl and she's the queen of curvy! Abundant and exaggerated shapes combined with a sweet face and a very genuine dimpled smile. She is blonde and light skinned and in general her face contrasts a lot with her physique. Normally very large girls like her have more  lustful expressions, they pose provocatively. She, on the other hand, has always shown her curves in swimsuits many times with very high-cut panties but she has always combined this style with a genuine, non-provocative smile. I had the opportunity to talk a lot with her and I also confessed my desires and interest. She always responded to me with politeness and dignity, but I never managed to meet her. She has always showered me with compliments and I believe that she is a good girl with a kind soul, however I believe that during our flirting she was always busy with someone. Unfortunately she deleted the only social network that connected me to her and sadly I haven't heard from her in over a year. I hope she is well and happy somewhere. My rate for her is C.

N. 13 - D.B. 
She’s a very young Hungarian girl who I met in my city more than a year ago. She is blonde and has a particular face with round shapes also in her gaze. She looks like a sort of doll with an expression that always tends to smile. She has a perfect body because she also does a sport which is a mix of dance and gymnastics. I only saw her a couple of times before she returned to her hometown and I honestly never believed that she wanted anything from me other than to buy her a drink. However, on a social level I see that she always views my stories; Personally I don't value this but in modern behavior it could equate to an interest. I don't know if she's like that but given the age difference I will never take a step further than necessary if it isn't clear on her part. I think the connection with her will end as soon as I close Instagram. My rate is B, I have always had serious intentions, with due respect and distance given her age.

N. 12 - M.K.
She’s a very beautiful American girl under thirty, blonde and with blue eyes. She has dimples and a simple but particular face at the same time. I knew her on X but then also added on Instagram where I could also notice her very toned body characterized by a simply perfect ass. The buttocks separate perfectly creating a super harmonious and sexy design. She is also a tall girl and I am convinced that she is not aware of her beauty, both aesthetic and physical. She works as AI ​​software developer, her topics are most often related to her work, where I also notice a lot of frustrations. I believe that her environment is focused on respectability and good manners, an environment made up of so-called "nerds" and here I’m referring above all to males, whose main interest is solving the programming problem. I don't see the people of this environment as very inclined towards physical passion nor do they have the ability to distinguish the details of a person like M. I mentioned her on X several times and she always replied, however the same thing didn't happen with the DMs. I wrote to her about a theory of mine regarding artificial intelligence but she never responded. From a social point of view she is not penetrable but I would be able to seduce a girl like very easily in person. Aesthetically and in terms of general intelligence I really like her, I give her a B rating.

N. 11 - B.K.
She’s an American girl, I believe, still under thirty. Very long blonde hair and super blue eyes, she has perfect curves, a great and decidedly sexy ass combined with busty breasts. A Trump supporter like me, she is also a smart girl who talks and listens. On social media she was personally attacked a lot both for her political side and because they thought she was fake. Personally I consider her beautiful and terribly sexy, a rare mix that gives me a lot of motivation. Apart from mentions in which we talked about various things and many compliments I never went further, recently I sent her my first DM just to get some information on Trump's social media but she never replied. My rate is B.

N. 10 - C.L.
She’s a woman I believe still under forty, German, former model and now influencer. She’s a beautiful blonde with bob hair, blue eyes and has a curvy body at her peak. She has very large breasts and I love it when her nipples sometimes show through. A while back she posted photos of herself when she was younger and she was skinny like normal models today. Now she has the right curves that make her super sexy especially combined with that angelic face of hers. She also has smooth skin and her body shapes, which are starting to be full, are still toned. She certainly publishes many photos to be deliberately sexy but this is also dictated by the work she does of herself, in a certain sense they are due. I honestly couldn't say if she is a passionate woman or not, she is married but her partner doesn't give me the impression of a lustful male. This woman is very attractive and sexy to me but I can't interpret her true being, in other words she gives me the feeling that she might be frigid. The rate would still be an A but I have the impression that her physique tends to decline and become heavy, this together with the mystery of her cravings lead me to give her a rate of C. Especially for her current physical form, at this moment she would be a perfect lover.

N. 9 - J.L.
J is a 40 year old girl who lives in a small town in America. Very white skin, red hair and big blue eyes, I discovered her thanks to her fashion blog. Many years ago she posted videos, very well done and with colors with perfect saturation. A personal beauty and simplicity emphasized by a broad and innocent smile. This was the idea I had of this girl but later I saw a post where she was posing in a swimsuit with some very sexy poses. During the same period I noticed that her smile was also slightly flirty. Over time she had to have some personal problems stopping publishing content. A few years ago she replied to a DM where I told her how much I liked her and that I would meet her seriously if she wanted it. Initially she seemed interested in her but then he directed me to her Onlyfans profile where I could see more of her. I was too curious not to accept and after some time I subscribed to the channel. Its contents are explicit and I must say that I was not wrong when I saw those photos in swimsuit. I don't make morals of a girl like her precisely because of her intimate characteristics, I would like her for a story and not only as a lover. Therefore the rate is B.

N. 8 - E.G.
She’s a Russian girl under forty for whom I would like to point out that I have immense respect. She is tall and with a slim physique and two perfect hips, she has a smooth and clear complexion. Two very beautiful light eyes and the only thing I don't particularly love about her is her fringe. She is a very experienced traveler who has always inspired me and with whom I have been lucky enough to be able to discuss and advise. Beyond her physical appearance, in fact, she is an example of how social media should work; connecting people with the same interests who can then compare and advise each other. She is married and has always been a very correct person in responding to messages even when I made it clear to her that I like her. I believe that she is predisposed to meeting even if I’m not clear about her intentions, mine are known to always be "complete". Personally, her ability to travel, her simplicity and beauty have always fascinated me, I have a strong attraction to her because I also consider her very sexy. The rate is C because she’s married but I think she is a person with whom I could share a lot even though we have different cultures.

N. 7 - O.L.
She’s a British girl in her thirties and I have always admired her both for her physique and her frank personality. She has a sense of humor and an accent that I love. She is brown with blue eyes, very tall and has the physique that was considered the best in the nineties. She is curvy with little breasts but her hips, legs and ass are fantastic, I can't match them to her height in the meaning that I can't imagine that body in a height of 185 cm but I think that in person it must have an even sexier effect . She is married but personally I have always seen her as a lover, with those shapes I don't see her as a girlfriend or wife, her physical body is the myth that we had as kids in the nineties. The shapes combined with her height are the best. The rate is C, she would be a perfect steady lover, the one to be wild with at least three times a week.

N. 6 - A.
She’s a very young and super beautiful British girl. She’s thin with a physique that has yet to fully blossom but with the right breasts. She is slightly curly blonde and has very expressive blue eyes. She is the kind of beauty I’m literally in love with, like Jane March in the movie “The Lover” and which I talked about in my post “Easy Rider Tribute”. Unfortunately it has always been impossible to interact with her because obviously she never replied to my messages, probably because she saw the difference in age and social class because I think she is a rich girl. However, I noticed that more than once she turned into a post a pic (of which I had taken a screenshot) that she previously made as story. I don't know if it was a coincidence or she understood that if the photo was liked in the story it certainly also worked as a post. Here it must be said that the screenshot on a psychological level is a higher level than the like. If a girl sees the like she understands that someone likes the photo, but in the case of the screenshot she understands that the image is so communicative that those who look at it also want to keep it. In theory, society has given a negative or perverse connotation to the screenshot as if by a maniac, but those who are photographers know that the image is something that must always be interacted with and should above all be printed. Beyond this I can't say anything about this girl because she is very discreet and she doesn't let anyone perceive anything about herself on social media. My rate in this case is A without the slightest doubt.

N. 5 - D.M.
She’s a girl still under forty who lives in the USA. She is the most beautiful brown-haired person with blue eyes that I can remember. Physically normal but with two hips and a perfectly shaped body. Her face is innocent, beautiful, with perfect lines, fresh and clean. I have known her on social media for more than ten years and even if she sometimes went a little further by posting pics of her body in a super sexy version, she has always maintained a good girl appearance. I’m of the opinion that in intimacy she is a very passionate person which is an added value. She travels a lot but I haven't been able to meet her, some time ago I had the impression that she has a partner which made me lose a little interest in her. In fact she is a type of girl and beauty that I would marry, perhaps her character is not exactly in line with mine but this detail does not downgrade her in terms of rates for which I give her an A.

N. 4 - L.D.C.
She’s an American woman in her forties who for me has always represented class and absolute style. The aesthetic image has to do with her work but she elevates the style to the maximum. She is very slim and toned, always with blonde streaks, she is also a positive person who always exudes new energy. She looks good with any type of outfit, from jogging suits to elegant dresses and she’s always beautiful and sexy. She is married and has a child and shares her image of her with a lot of personality and confidence. She is a woman with a very strong character. I have always appreciated her and I have always thought that someone like her is the perfect woman to marry, however, having always seen her committed, I have always wanted her as her lover. I believe she is a passionate woman so she is complete as a person. The rate for her is A anyway.

N. 3 - N.Y.C.
​She’s a black girl of Caribbean origins but who lives in the USA, she has a model's body and very particular skin both in color and type. Even though she is super sexy, I noticed her for her style of dress, she was really cool simply by wearing jeans and a t-shirt and then I always liked her face too. Despite I don't have a predisposition for black girls, with her it was different. We chatted a lot and it was clear that she liked me too, my intentions were always serious with her and I tried to meet her but with no luck. I don't know about today but I think that back then she had some self-esteem problems and she always had an "alert" attitude, even towards me. There were some lost in translation problems and I think in the end she had the wrong opinion about me. It's a shame because even today if I see her in a photo I feel the same things. My rate for her is A.

N. 2 - G.A.M.
She’s a Jordanian girl of Muslim religion, whose beauty has always taken me to the world of dreams. She has long dark hair, olive skin and two dark eyes with an almost oriental cut that have always seduced me. Physically she is absolutely normal, short with small breasts but the right hips. She's the kind of person who goes beyond the girl next door. Probably on an unconscious level there were two factors that led me to adore her so much; her country that I love so much and her culture. I'm almost sure that she was still a virgin during our pseudo relationship and the dedication that a girl from that culture gives to her man is the best you could wish for. She confided in me and we had a long history made up unfortunately only of messages and photos, both aware of the religious problems that could not help or bring our story to a head. Personally she is the type of girl I would marry and I actually thought about it at that time. Unfortunately I understood that my role was that of her lover, I only represented a transgressive aspect for her, I don't think she ever took me seriously. On my personal list she is second to only one other person. Obviously I give her the A rate.

N. 1 - E.M.
She’s a Russian girl, over thirty years old and in my imagination she has always been the perfect girl. This person had and has everything; she is elegant, she is beautiful, she is sexy, she can be sophisticated and simple. She is the person I have always dreamed of, she can be the lover, the wife or the girlfriend, she naturally possesses all the characteristics. A dark blonde with blue eyes and a round face shape. Physically she was thin and today she is even thinner but she always looks good. We started chatting about ten years ago and we were supposed to meet in Milan but fate said no. Months after the missed meeting I noticed that she was pregnant and I asked her. She confirmed it to me without saying anything else and since then the relationship has changed. It must be said that from time to time I have always made new attempts but without success because then at a certain point she also got married. There was a time when I understood that she wanted to connect me with one of her friends but I preferred to avoid because I was always very attracted to her. Today I regret it a little but I'm even more sorry for having lost that particular passion for her. After so many years she is still beautiful but over time she stopped following me on social media and I did the same. To this day she remains at the top of my list, if I have to imagine the perfect girl I imagine her. I don’t see chance of make it happen with her but I like to fantasize because in life you never know. Obviously my rate for her is A, in all respects she’s the chosen one!

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This long list does not take into account the many people who were, let's say, transient and even further away in time. In fact, here I have only left the people with whom I still have connections or who I have recently stopped following. Even so vaguely, I remember many people who struck me but with whom everything then faded away. Clearly the list doesn't even take into account the famous public figures who don't miss the opportunity to seduce with sexy photos in the various TL, I should make an X-rated post with them listing all the details of what I would do.
This honest post is a bit like my farewell to the use of social media in this sense, a tribute and obviously an invitation because if someone recognizes themselves they can easily come forward because we will surely find a way to arrange the meeting. In the end we would all benefit because my role would be that of the adultery psychologist. This is my theory according to which having a lover from one meeting a week can only improve the quality of the marriage. With your lover you do things that you don't do with your husband, you need it to compare yourself with someone who is not part of you and with whom you only share some things, especially the physical ones. It is a mental and also physical liberation, after all for me it is worse for a hypothetical wife of mine to confide some of my psychological aspects to a professional figure than for her to physically betray me. This would be worse for me because it means sharing psychological complicity, something highly important. Think women if the psychologist lover was legitimate (which can easily be, you just need to want it); someone who understands you and satisfies you, mentally and physically without expecting anything in return. 
​With love.
Antonio