By Antonio Malara
As I wrote in “Rebel without a Clue”, the outfits we wear don't always reflect our personality. But one thing is certain; the ultimate goal is to get noticed and attract the others. It is precisely for this purpose that today, in addition to the now common social networks, have also become popular the so-called "dating" platforms.To be honest I don't remember why, many years ago, I downloaded “Happn” the first app of this kind. I remember that I never took it seriously, convinced that it was another nonsense like the others. More than anything I was not sure that the girls could use a sort of "showcase" so explicit, a form of independence that especially here where I live is science fiction. Precisely for these reasons I have never used it carefully, however I discovered its popularity in one of the many trips I made about six years ago. It must be said that on that occasion I was already with a girl and I started using this app for geographical reasons, to see the results in that precise place. Well to my surprise I had a lot of “matches” with different girls, plus I noticed that there were also escorts on the platform and in any case most of the time the girls had clear ideas. There were those who just wanted to have fun, those who had recently moved to the city and just wanted to meet new people, those who took it literally and were looking for a love story. There I realized that the app, at least abroad made sense, beyond the final purpose it was always a useful way to meet new people.
In the last two or three years these apps on my phone have grown to four, after “Happn” I downloaded “Lovoo” and then “Tinder” a very high number. The latest was "Bumble" and I installed it after Sharon Stone complained that she was banned from the platform because the administrators thought she was a fake. Although I mainly need these apps for travel, I still ended up seeing what kind of "human cases" there were here where I live. And it was precisely this psychological curiosity that still leads me to browse through these platforms, because involuntarily, people, with their bio, give me ideas to invent characters that one day will be able to populate a story or perhaps a novel. This is to say that many times when we are too direct to tell ourselves, even in a few lines, those who read whether they are people of experience or of the sector (psychologists), they understand everything about us.
Over the years I have managed to meet and "get to the point" with many girls using these apps. Mostly abroad while here in my places with foreign girls. As I said before, it is not that outside Italy women are sluts and here they are not, they are simply truly free and independent while here where I live, they are hypocrites. Abroad, women have clear ideas and do not feel judged so they have no problem meeting a man, having sex the first night and then abandoning him. Here, on the other hand, is the apotheosis of the hypocrisy and mental disorders announced in the bio of these girls-women.
As if we were all born by parthenogenesis and sexual attraction did not exist, these girls on the apps specify that they are “people with principles” and looking for stable relationships. The reality is different because when we have never interacted with a person, we are attracted only and exclusively by the physical aspect which is in any case subjective. Now I ask myself; when a woman over fifty, with a questionable physical appearance, with one or two failed marriages behind her, says she is looking for "love" and a stable relationship but only contacts "guys" who are ten years younger than her, what do she really expect? It is clear that there is a twisted psychological mechanism, the failure of the marriage leads to wanting a “revenge” (the young boy) but at the same time their age is too mature for adventures (hence the dream of keeping the young lover to himself. ). They live in a fantasy, it would be much easier and more realistic to be lovers for one or two meetings a week, especially when the age difference is great, this also when the man is much older than the girl.
This hypocrisy is typical of the women of my places who have never achieved real cultural independence. Both in northern Italy and abroad, the meetings start mainly from sex because in today's society it is difficult to find time for that, also due to working hours. Here where I live, on the other hand, they are much freer because they are unemployed, they have time to waste. The tragedy is that even the tourists or foreigners who come to live here are influenced by the place and adapt to bad local habits. Moreover, they are surrounded by these "chimpanzees", or by these males who give a lot of attention talking with gestures because they do not know foreign languages and in the end they manage to get the girls for exhaustion and a pinch of sympathy since they behave like comedians.
The bio then are a synthesis of exasperation where these women describe articulated and imaginative prerogatives-requisites-warnings that I want to mention here because they deserve! For example;
-Do not write if you are less than six feet tall.
-I’m not interested in meetings aimed at chamber gymnastics.
-I’m not Wendy so no Peter Pan because I won’t come "on the island that is not there".
-Not for everyone, but for a few, very few.
-Beauty does not exclude intelligence...if you have to play, change the page.
-I don't have time to overlook people who don't fly me.
-Apolitical, swipe left.
-Don’t write if you use loafers without socks and ankle-length jeans.
This last prerogative denotes a fear of competition. Loafers were used without socks even in the 70s and if today there are cropped jeans for men that make this shoe stand out by giving a more modern style but similar to that of girls, I don't see what the problem is. Moreover, this is the style I prefer but surely the subject in question is afraid that going out with a guy who has this style, then people (both men and women) look at him and not her. This mania then to exclude a priori as if a particular height or a political-religious orientation can affect the entire relationship is psychopathic. Furthermore this highlights two important factors. First; it means that these girls have had so many conversations that they are good at defining various psychological types. Second; this shows a certain arrogance to want the perfect person even before going out with him and getting to know him, these are claims that have no logic.
In the end however, I blame the males because it was they who indirectly created this sad reality. Now without inhibitions, they send messages filled with compliments to anyone and at any time of day or night. An endless courtship (with the sole purpose of having sex) that starts on dating app-social networks and continues even in public, perhaps in a club during a party. If you see a male who talks for hours with a girl in the disco, he never touched her with a finger. Those who have already had sex with the same girl, they don’t even say “hello” to her if they’re in the same club.
All this long analysis to conclude that it’s impossible to have an affair with a girl if you don't start with sex first. Each woman is apart from a physical point of view. It happened more often to me to have a great physical feeling with girls who maybe weren't particularly beautiful or who had an average body shape. Other times, with beautiful girls with model looking bodies, I didn't have the same sexual appeal. So it is inconceivable that any story does not start with sex, unfortunately I’m my places there is a “complex” that girls cannot overcome; sex on the first outing it’s like being a slut. However, if there is a boy they like, they give themselves immediately and then play the victims when he abandons them.
I want to conclude by writing a few lines about the outfit. I was inspired by Tom Ford who often proposes this style that winks to the seventies in his fashion shows. The turtleneck sweater, the biker leather jacket and the ankle boots are elements of an ever-current style. The only difference with my outfit is that I used jeans while Ford normally matches with pants. It's not a small difference but the main purpose of this post was the written content rather than visual one. My goal was to describe a reality without offending nobody! And remember; no drama.
Pictures: Maria Chiara Malara